Depression

I guess Im in the midst of depression where all I wanna do is NOTHING. No goals, feeling useless and hopeless (besides God), fatigue ahhhhh..... I'm not happy. I hate everything coming my way. I hate my job. I hate the people. I just hate being here. Recently, I've made a research on the symptoms of depression and somehow all matches what I've gone thru and what I thought and all. The main symptom that shocked me was Suicide. The attempt of suicide comes in my mind all the time. I know it's not the best solution to make things better but it just pops in my scumbag brain all the time. I know its stupid and selfish but I cant help it. Now Im married, my priorities will all go to my partner (duh). Anyway, yes I just got hitched a month ago. It was a tring yet precious moment for me which I will never forget. Dont get me wrong, yes I am happy and lucky that Im married to the love of my life. Im blessed that I've found someone who love me for who I am. Yes, my temper wasn't that good but Im trying to fix it. Somehow I feel sad about something which bothers me so much that I can't even identify what is it. Sometimes I just wish that I could disappear even wanna go somewhere else to relax my mind. I just cannot take it anymore...